My friend Joe Gerstandt is a proud purveyor of the freak flag. I've been reading Joe's stuff for a while now (and it's awesome, by the way), and I will admit that the first few times he made reference to the freak flag, I was a bit confused. I figured it was something the cool kids knew about, and eventually it would make sense to me.
So I was grateful that he posted a clear description of what the Freak Flag really means to him. Go read it, because it will help you understand this post too.
I get it. So here's my story of getting in touch with the Freak Flag.
I like to think. I shared some of my blog posts around the office the other day, and after reading the posts, one of my coworkers said "You like to think…a lot…don't you." It's true. It seems to be my nature to ponder things, turn things around in my head. It's fun for me and when I share what I've come up with, people seem to like it. It ends up being an important part of my work.
And while thinking is easy for me, speaking up is not. Now, I'm a blogger and a professional speaker, so it's not like I'm quiet all the time. I don't have any kind of dispositional resistance to expressing myself. I do it a lot.
I'm talking about the times where in order to really be authentic I need to say something…and I don't. There are too many of these times, and in those moments I often take refuge in my thinking and choose not to express. When a friend makes a racist comment, but I don't want to ruffle the relationship so I just change the subject. When a client dismisses a challenge I think they need to face, but my ego says it's better when the people who pay you are happy with you, so I tread lightly instead of speaking the truth. When someone I love hurts me and I'm afraid if I say something I'll just make it worse, so I bottle it up inside (and, of course, make it worse. This is an aside, but isn't it interesting that many things we fear we also secretly desire?).
The Freak Flag gently reminds me to stop that foolishness. It is forgiving, of course, and won't judge me when I remain silent. But the Freak Flag, for me, is ultimately about VOICE. To continue Joe's descriptions:
It is the celebration of voice and expression and truth.
It shouts "Silent No More"
It is the celebration of listening and welcoming all voices
It is the celebration of showing up and building and creating and unfolding
On Fridays (at the very least) I fly my Freak Flag and I remember my voice. Silent no more.
I was telling a friend that I was ready to take this step and “be more myself” in uncomfortable situations. Those words didn’t quite fit. These do! Thanks for flying your freak flag, Jamie. You’ve inspired me today. 🙂
Thanks MJ! I love inspiring people. You made my day!
Many would say I’m not silent at all. Especially in defense of my cause.
Others criticize me for being silent in just the situations you describe. Speaking out at these times is so difficult for me. Physically painful.
I am working on it. Thanks for the reminder.