So says an article in Fast Company Magazine by Chip and Dan Heath, the brothers that wrote the (awesome) book, Made to Stick. I find it interesting, particularly after my session in Toronto where one of my seven tips for getting unstuck in conflict situations is a recognition that humans, whether we like it or not, are emotional. I can't remember in which Goleman book I read this now, but he told a story of a person (people?) who had the emotional center of their brain damaged (but the rest worked fine), and they were completely paralyzed in terms of decision making. Without an emotional center to help figure out what was right, their rational brain could simply spin its back and forth pro/con argument indefinitely. We need emotions and feelings to make good judgments. That seems to be related to what the Heath brothers were reporting.
It's not really about conflict, but in one study they cite, people had to make a choice as to whether or not they should cheat/lie (to their own advantage) in an exercise with a partner. When instructed to use reason and logic, 69% cheated. When instructed to rely on gut feelings, only 27% cheated. Interestingly, when asked who they would rather go up against in this game, 75% said the rational one!
It's obviously a mix that is required, but the Heaths and I are pointing to the same thing in the business/organizational world: we are overemphasizing the rational. We're betting on it too heavily, we're rewarding it too much, and we're discounting the feeling/emotional side of things more than we should.
I will also add that it takes courage and staying power to buck this trend.